I have been writing this blog for a few months now and, during that time, something has come to light which I need to rectify.
Whilst writing, I have tried to convey all of the emotions that I have been through during my journey into cancer. As is the case with any narrative, I’ve highlighted the pieces of my life over the past year which have, literally, been the highs and the lows; in essence, my most extreme feelings. There have been days when I have felt at an all-time low, but haven’t wanted to convey it to those around me, for a variety of different reasons. Sometimes it is easier to ‘put up and shut up’ and deal with things internally. Only in blog form have I been able to expose some of those feelings that I’ve closed away from everyone.
In some cases, two months have been packed into one single entry and I have found that, in using the process of elimination in my writing, certain facts may have come across as harsh. It is my belief that readers want raw emotions and these are the feelings that I have tried to connect with and recreate in this blog. I have failed to mention the days where everything has been ‘fine’ because vanilla days do not make good reading. However, in editing these times out, I may have unintentionally caused a little upset amongst those close to me who may have felt, in hindsight, that things should have been different.
Rest assured, there have been many days where I have truly flourished in the love and companionship of those around me and these are the moments that I will always carry with me, regardless of what happens in the future. It was not (and still is not) my intention to edit out the ‘good times’, but some of the invaluable occasions that I have spent with friends and family may have inadvertently been left on the cutting room floor, and for this I apologise.
I feel both proud and lucky to have so much support. It is impossible to mention everyone in the blog, because it would mean that a single entry would be pages and pages long! Please believe me, every text, email or WhatsApps that I receive means so much and I would like to say one very big ‘Thank you’.